Why Society Feels Dead
When the music shoves the feet and the faces rotate, no one makes it out alive.
There were breakthrough lights
in the greyness of the clouds.
Look around;
there is no one
on the green tennis of the field
upon which light had beamed.
*
They are hiding behind
headphones,
earphones,
blocking out peers.
So grave
like grey clouds.
What can control our delusions?
Delusion of life after death
death after life.
You walk the street,
but you aren’t going anywhere
after the clock strikes six.
After the mountains are filtered by the fog.
Who is there for us to scream down on?
*
Cars driving by
Conversations going black.
Voices pulverized by the pistons.
You hear that someone is stressed.
This group is better than them;
they have no friends.
Hidden emotion
clipped by the wind.
*
Even in cafes,
music shoves the feet.
They whisper into the tune of the day
as the faces rotate,
sitting like a product with their backs up straight.
Not a single word with an aim,
all so the coffee beans could get paid.
Moving south, moving east
they go to the club during the night.
Not a single ounce of them had made it out alive.
Society is dead.
No one knows you;
no one knows what is true
About you.
About the Creator
Caitlin Charlton
Noir Writer & Close Reader. Spotting the elements of Eloquence.
Survivor. Reclaiming my own territory.
Let us read each other and leave the page free. 🖋️🔥👠
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Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
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Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Excellent storytelling
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Comments (28)
Simply great.
Wow I love also congratulations girl on such a powerful piece 💜💜💜
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Hey, you!! Congrats on the Leaderboard and the TS!! The ending of this poem is sad truth of NOW. Good job.
“Society is dead. No one knows you; no one knows what is true about you.” That line hit me hard. It lingers long after reading and perfectly captures the alienation in modern life.
Oh wow. This is so well-written and so powerful. There are several lines I could drop in the comment as "favorites," "Hidden emotions/clipped by the wind." I really enjoy lines that resonate with me and I can't quite figure out why they resonate with me and this is one of them. It's certainly well written, but that's not it. It has a mystery about it. Well done and congratulations on Top Story.
Congratulations on your top story, Caitlin! Unfortunately, I know the feeling all too well, but I also know it's all too common among us, collectively. This, in a way, makes the notion so much worse. "They whisper into the tune of the day as the faces rotate, sitting like a product with their backs up straight." I pictured this, no, I felt this, like I was there experiencing it all. Fantastic work ❣
Nice Poem
Powerful! It almost feels like a throwaway line, but that one on “all so the coffee beans could get paid” really struck me, encapsulating so much
This is on the edge of surreal and reality. Impressive! Congratulations on your Top Story!
Congrats on Top Story!! Well deserved accolades for delivering the heartbreaking truth of the isolation and puppetry pulling us all away from one another. Beautiful work, as always, lovely Cait!
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Back to say congrats lass on another well deserved Top Story, Caitlin.
Thats deep, nicely done!
🍕🌊🙏🪷💕🛝🤸♂️🪁 WOW🍕🌊🙏🪷💕🛝🤸♂️🪁 DYSTOPIC 🍕🌊🙏🪷💕🛝🤸♂️🪁 THANK YOU🍕🌊🙏🪷💕🛝🤸♂️🪁 🍕🌊🙏🪷💕🛝🤸♂️🪁
Nicely done, my friend. You have a gift for using the right words in the right quality and at the right time. You are truly talented.
You've really captured the loneliness of modern life here. It's sadly relatable.
Dear Cc - Now that students put phones 📱 into the lock 🔒 box while entering class. Once they exit, they bump into one another in the hallways, catching up with grapevine-gossip they might have missed in the last 50 minutes! — just an old fashion note passer — Jj.in.l.a.
Breathtaking poetry, Caitlin. Your poesy is both viscerally immersive and heartbreaking. As both Matt and Tim commented you have captured the isolation of the post-modern age. Can anyone truly know anyone else, even themselves in this noisy, angst-ridden age?
That was some productive people watching. Good on you for being able to step back and not get lost in the individuals so much that they obscured the crowd. 💖💖💖
Wow. Nicely done. You’ve conveyed a sense of isolation and also a sense of urgency, like the whole thing is fevered or panicked. You’re right, things feel pretty rotten, in a desperate way.
I get what you mean. The imagery of people hiding behind headphones while the world around them stays empty is incredibly isolating. It feels like watching a ghost town where everyone is physically there but mentally miles away.
Caitlin! My goodness, it feels like every time I read a new piece by you, you've outdone yourself again. This was as poignant as it was true. Exceptional use of Language and brevity. This stirred me to my soull.
I think you've put what is actually going on into words so perfectly. While social media was meant to be used as a tool to bring you closer to friends and family that were far away, it didn't seem to quite work that way, did it? We ignore the people here in our lives and market ourselves to strangers online. We aren't people anymore. We are a product. And we are always escaping our reality. It's weird. I have a no phone rule when I'm with someone. If we go out, I don't wanna look at the back of your phone. I wanna see your face. I wanna talk to you. This was a wonderful but also sad and true story, Caitlin. 🩵
Very thought-provoking, thankyou for sharing xx